Shellybird's Ramblins #2

When dudes have really pretty eyes with "natural eyeliner" and lashes to DIE for, it's safe to assume NOT that God makes mistakes, but that He likes mixing things up a little. I'm just sayin'.

From Shellybird's Infinite Playlist...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbHfgXJKn1Y&feature=youtube_gdata_player

You're Welcome...

You know what? I think I'll just leave this right here. I don't know how many people are actually reading this blog, but someone will stumble upon this post and be blessed (I hope).

More inspiration to come...
*smooches*

Dirty Cash I Want You; Dirty Cash I Need You...

Ok...I say this all the time when co-workers at the Retail Hell ask me if I'm working the following night: "Not if I win the lottery." Welp, you can't win if you don't play, and I rarely play. I might buy a $1 or $2 scratcher a couple of times a year and I "break even" occasionally.  My largest winnings to date? Fifty dollars, which I split with Mommy. At this point though, some lottery winnings are a nice little fantasy for someone with over a decade of retail (and COUNTING) under their belt. I am burned out, disconnected, totally jaded, and ready to get the hell OUT. Guess what kiddies? At the time I am writing this, the Powerball jackpot is up to $400 MILLION. A Shellybird is ALL IN...I don't need $400 million dollars, which after taxes is $3.75, I think? All I want is enough seed money to get me settled in here:

For any amoebas who may have stumbled upon this and don't know what city Lady Liberty represents, here ya go:

The way I see it, if I WIN some money, I won't have to cash in my inferior 401K to move there, and subsequently wind up eating cat food when I get old. *shrug* I know it's a long shot,  but a bird can dream. So, wish me luck, as I wish for you if you're playing. Although I am not going to wish you so much luck that you win my money.

I always said that when my ship came in enabling me to go over the Retail Hell wall, I wasn't going to give a notice and didn't want a going away party. (They love to fête people on my job. Potluck style.) Nice gesture, but I got food at the house. I am just ready to go. However, I changed my mind about the notice:

That's the equivalent of a 1 day notice, amoebas, and I'll sashay out of there chuckin' deuces like a boss.

Where's My Hockey Mask And Machete?!?!

So many sex crazed teens, blondes in stilettos, and token black folks died needlessly...if only they'd listened. :'-(

The Black Julia Sugarbaker Rides Again or...I Know He Di'nt

In keeping with my doc's advice to try finding love online--um...facebook ain't working--I started an account on OkCupid. An acquaintance told me that's how she met her man. I should have asked how long it took. I guess I'm looking for "Instant romance: Just Add Water." (Don't worry about a water shortage due to my quest for "fastlove"; I will just use my tears...) Well, I have gotten a few messages, and lot's of compliments on my profile pic, although I am not feeling anyone yet. Then THIS happens (The words in the gray boxes are MINE, and I am quite proud of them):

 Too bad this was all online....I would have loved to say it the way Dixie Carter would have on "Designing Women." Like Julia Sugarbaker, Shellybird don't play.

***UPDATE***

THEN, this right here happened:

I wasn't expecting an apology. What a pleasant surprise. I really wasn't up for a back-and-forth anyway, but I could have held my own, OBVIOUSLY. Interestingly enough, our match rating has ratcheted up to a whopping 72%. The devil is a LIE. *sigh* The search continues...

Shellybird Ramblins

Deviled ham is the bougie first cousin of potted meat...I hope y'all know that.

*shrug* I'm just sayin'.