Random...

I was just laying here, waiting for the migraine that's been circling overhead to finally land so I can suffer and get it over with. I felt it coming on a little over an hour ago, but I was in denial. Haha, my stupid ass.

Anyway, I was perusing the Facebook and I stumbled upon a "fashion/beauty" blog, which is no great feat since people friggin' LOVE taking pics of themselves and posting them on social media. Old girl's hair, makeup, and accessories were on point, so why did her nails look like she lets dogs chew them? That just irks me. Maybe it's a generational thing. My mom,and grandma would call me out if my nails were short and raggedy or if my polish got janky. "It's not ladylike," they said. Nowadays, I see a lot of young girls/women with what can best be called "deconstructed manicures". I guess I'm old fashioned (and a little anal), but a chip, smudge, or even an air bubble in my polish makes me want to flip a table. I got a crystal gel manicure for my class reunion a couple of weeks ago, and its best days are long behind it. Gel polish has to be soaked off. Mine is growing away from my cuticles and it's starting to gradually (with a little assistance from yours truly) peel off. I tried to squeeze myself in at the salon yesterday evening to get them redone, but it was almost closing time. The nail tech told me to come back Sunday, but I have 2 church services today. There's a 2 hour break between them which would leave me enough time to get my nails done after the first service. I hate that I'm going to church with raggedy nails, but the Lord knows my heart. Hopefully I can get them done before I sub again though. It just looks unprofessional.

My nails are scarier than anything in that book.

Quick Post. Early School Tomorrow...

Welp, my class reunion came and went and I was there. It was a pretty good time that I'll tell you about in a future post. I need to get on the ball right now though. I subbed middle school today, and I have to sub 5th grade at the early school tomorrow. (I am super tired.) This particular elementary school opens earlier than any other in the county: 7:45am. At the other schools, I don't have to be there to greet students until 8am. Don't ask me what it is about that 15 minute time difference that derails me. I can't explain it; I just get super paranoid about oversleeping and being THAT sub who was late.

Needless to say, my school clothes will be ironed and my lunch packed TONIGHT. I plan to be in bed and asleep no later than 11pm. Big ups to Zzzz-Quil and the "Classical for Sleeping" setting on Songza. Before I close an eye though, I will be praying to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ that I get up on time.

Sub Adventures...

I am SO tired. Being a "real" teacher may kill me.  Those chirrens will wear you OUT. I still enjoy the job though, making my rookie mistakes along the way...Like today's incident, The Curious Case of the Stolen Mechanical Pencil. Children really can't conceptualize that pencil factories churn out MILLIONS of pencils (mechanical ones included) daily. Therefore, it's QUITE possible that even if you lost your mechanical pencil yesterday and you saw someone with an identical one the next day, it might actually be...theirs. Awesome concept, if I must say so myself. Where is my Nobel prize for peace (in a 5th grade classroom)?! I left a note for the teacher on this one, after trying and failing to diffuse. I really should have kept my mouth shut from the jump, but I thought I could "fix" it. Welp...experience. I have the same school tomorrow, but a different grade. I should sleep pretty darn good tonight though. I have nothing left.

I couldn't find a mechanical pencil factory gif...eh

I Gots To Do Better...

Seems like every month has a theme for someone or something. This month for instance, is "No-Shave November". It's geared towards men, but I'll be taking part in it too, as people won't see my naked legs again before next year, sooooo ta-ta razor! According to some of my favorite writing pages and blogs that I follow, this is also a big month for us writers to hunker down and churn it out. I found this on Facebook the other night:

I love how this is done in quad paper...

A page of what, they didn't specify, so I'm just going to try and post here for as much of this month as I can. I would love the courage to try spinning some of the fanciful ideas in my head into some great short fiction like one of my favorite authors, Kevin Wilson. But see, the way my schedule is set up, I don't have time to go see the Wizard...

I'm going to see what I can turn this into. I started late anyway. Wait. Actually, I've posted 2 out of 3 days this month, so I'm in top of my game for the moment. Ha! That never happens. Maybe, just maybe I can become (a lot) more disciplined with writing and turn it into something. I would love nothing more than to give readers the pleasure that my favorite writers have given me over the years.

Twenty-five Years Later....

Well, life is chugging along for me. What else can I say, really? I'm still subbing, and I have ups and downs with that. Some days I leave school on top of the world because the experience was so awesome. Then there are other days when all I can think is, "I really f*cked that up,"...Smh. I suppose that's life.

Anywhore, one day during bus duty, one of the teachers (and my high school classmate) asked me if I was going to the 25th reunion. In my head, I'm all like, "Wayyyyyment. There's a class reunion afoot and I didn't know?!"

Let me give you a little backstory--which will actually be a lot of backstory because I'm wordy: I LIVE for a class reunion. Why? Because even though

*I never became the supermodel I'd always dreamed of being

*I don't have 1,000 pics of my husband and kids (who would be cute like they mama) on my phone

*I'll show up for this reunion just like I did the other two reunions AND both proms--DATELESS 

I have an ace in the hole: I'm still skinny! Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm being superficial, but I really don't care. I was a stick in high school and the butt of many jokes because of that. My default curves--thanks to middle age spread--will serve me well when the class of 1990 converges on the country club later this month. The attire is casual, and THIS is what I'm wearing (minus those death-defying shoes):

I follow this "fashion" page in facebook. Several outfits are posted each day, using designer pieces. We peasants are left to our own devices to find cheap versions in our cheap stores to somehow duplicate the looks. (Of course, if you can afford the designer stuff, I ain't mad at ya. Go head on, money grip!) My little NYC shopping spree in August enabled me to duplicate the above look. I bought jeans just like those and a gold sequined blazer like that (but with 3 quarter length sleeves). I'll replace the plain white tank top with a Marilyn Monroe tank that I also purchased in the Big Apple, but I think you see where I'm going with this: straight to Cutetown, baby!!!! 

The funny thing is, my shopping in NYC was random. Actually, that's how I always shop. I buy stuff--on clearance, if possible--that I like and set it aside because I know some sort of event will come up that I can wear this stuff to. Rarely do I have to go on a last-minute shopping spree for most church functions, sorority events, or a girls' night out because I usually have something banked up from one of my "clearance crawls".  You'll notice that I didn't mention dates among the times when I can dip into my cache of cute clothes. That wasn't an oversight, just my life. 

So there's that. I'll try to post some (faceless) class reunion pics--of my outfit--in a follow-up post after the big event. Oh, and before you write me off as a superficial bish with botched up priorities, I DO have friends from high school that I want to see. I've been spreading the word to them about the reunion, but you can't blame the underdog for wanting to at least look like a top dog, who's still skinny enough to be on top...of an emergency pyramid.

I Should Be Sleeping Right Now, BUT...

Welp, here I am posting again on a school night. I should have been in bed a half-hour ago, but my spirit is vexed right now to say the least. I found out from my oldest half-sister that our uncle had an aneurysm Saturday and is in the hospital unresponsive. Our auntie had knee surgery and is in a rehab facility. The thing is I'd been promising both of them I'd call/visit since the summer. Follow-through isn't one of my strong points though, and that fact is beginning to take increasingly large bites of  my arse. I mean, suppose my uncle diea not knowing how much I loved him???? All I can do is take these situations to Jesus, and if you know the words of prayer please send up a few for my fam.

On top of THAT, I am really feeling the burn from being single right now. I've always been the victim of unrequited real life crushes, and even worse, celebrity crushes. It's the celebrity crush that's working on me right now. I have had too many famous "husbands in my head", lost so much time Google imaging them...Thoughts of this guy make me feel good, and our sex (in my head) is AWESOME.  Smh. When DOES one outgrow this? Oh, I know. WHEN THE LORD SEES FIT TO SEND A WORTHY PARTNER INTO ONE'S LIFE. Guess who's still waiting? THIS CHICK.

As I mentioned in my last post, blogging is contagious. I just saw a post from a blogger I follow--her posts are even fewer and further between than MINE. After reading it, I just had to come over here and cyber-scribble.  Of course with all that's going on and not going on, I'm at the keyboard like,

So all that you read above is why I'm still up, and a 5th grade class that I am expected to greet at 7:45am today is why I'm about to lay it down, almost an hour later than I'd planned.

Eh...Quick Post

*This post was actually written during the early morning hours of October 7. I'd popped a ZzzQuil though, so I zonked out before I could hit "publish".* 

I haven't written in over a month, but it seems like my last post was just yesterday. Eh, anyho...I do remember griping about not being ready to return to school as a substitute teacher. WELL, I did it. I've been subbing steadily since the beginning of September. Some days are still a struggle, not because I don't want to go to school. It's just because I've been without a routine for so long. Lounging is freakin' fun, ok?! I don't get a paycheck for doing that though.

Oh, and in other developments, I've decided that if I can't be a New York-based supermodel, I'll be a teacher. I'd like to teach either elementary school and maybe be a reading specialist or teach 8th grade English. (I've subbed at the middle school a few times and it's not as bad as I thought it would be. High school still gets a no from me. I mean, just hell no.) I'm hoping to take the teacher licensing exam next month so I can get a provisional licence (and subsequently a full-time teaching job) until I get in all the course work needed to be a "real teacher". It's an involved process, and I really haven't even begun. I feel confident enough to say now that I really do want to teach. This isn't just something that I'm saying because it's what people want to hear. Now I just need to get the proverbial ball rolling.

Funny thing. One of my cousins that I grew up with is a "real teacher", and she's working her way up to administration. When we were kids, she was the golden child. She was an achiever, and everyone just knew "Tiffany"--the alias she gets in this blog--would be a success in life. I always looked up to her and did everything she did, or tried to. Even now, I do sometimes go to her for advice...about professional stuff anyway. Since I've been on a termination marathon lately, she's been sending me job leads. After the double dose of hell that I went through with the Retail Toilet and the Retailtopia I KNOW that I canNOT do retail again. I'd be a fool if I did. I know it's not for me, and the good Lord--moving in that mysterious way of His--rescued me twice. And he sends little signs when I'm in a store and I fall into a mini-trance watching the employees doing retail...stuff. It makes me want to crawl out of my own skin. I'm scarred, man. So WHY Tiffany send me a job opening for a managerial position at PayLess Shoes?! GIRL, BYE. (She's still my go to for teaching advice though.)

So there. In my own rambling way, I've played catch up. I don't normally write on a "school night", probably why I didn't post last month. I've found that writing is contagious though. In this Facebook group I'm in, this guy asked us to follow his girlfriend's blog. I scoped it out; it's actually right here on Blogger. I'll have to peruse it further when I have more time. The first post I saw was about natural hair care products though. I don't give a guinea about natural hair care talk. I have my reasons. But just looking at her blog with the cutesy background and equally cutesy font made me miss the little homely, nearsighted, flat-footed child that is The Shellybird's Nest. I just had to swing by and love on it a little bit. Now that I've done that, I guess I need to lay these lanky 5'10" inches down for some shut eye. It's after 1am and I have to sub today.