I did not plan to do one of those "Aw Lawd Jesus, why ain't I got no man?!" posts. However, since this blog is primarily about Shellybird--and that's ME, REMEMBER?!--and the desire for a husband and children (IN THAT ORDER) is so very deep in my heart, I will give this topic a little time.
When I was a teen, I had my life mapped out: After a successful career as a supermodel, I would slow down, if not retire, get married and have 5 babies...yep, have it all in the can by age 30 *boom*. Fast forward 20-some odd years later. I didn't become a supermodel, although I still have aspirations.* I've had 2 or 3 boyfriends. I was even engaged once, but if I'd married that dude, our story would have been a Lifetime movie with Gabrielle Union playing me. (SILENCE! You don't know what I look like!) So, here I am, new-30 years old, with no wedding ring, and nooooo babbies.
During my yearly um...feminine exam in January, my GYN asked me what was I planning to do in regards to having children. (I guess he could hear the ticking of my clock; I know I can.) I told him I was holding out for Mr. Right because I DO NOT want to have children out of wedlock. Granted, that's how I got here, so I certainly don't look down my nose, but my even my mom doesn't want that for her grandchildren-to-be. Anyways, Doc suggested sperm banks as my reproductive time winds down, or if I was REALLY on my ear to go the traditional route, try meeting men online, via dating sites or Facebook. Welp, oooookay...
I'm a black woman who does the interracial dating thing. I've always been the type of person who loves to be around people of all races and cultures, even when it comes to my romantic life. In college, my friends called me "The International Lover," because I had a relationship with a Kenyan who was my first true love/heartbreak--after it ended, it took me years to be able to think about him without crying...years. There were mini-relationships with a white guy, a Mexican, and a Lebanese. (Mini-relationships=relationships that didn't get past kissing with no declaration of love or indication of exclusivity.) Back in October, I started joining AMBW (Asian Men/Black Women) groups on FB because in my small town, I don't encounter many Asian men and I wanted to explore that. That's how I met my "friend."** I found a message in my "other messages" box on Facebook that he sent me back in January. I'd never checked other messages before, didn't even know they existed. I sent him a message apologizing for not responding sooner, and the rest is history. He approached me first, and that's important to me because I hate feeling like I chased a man down. We've been talking for a few weeks and plan to meet up soon--in a safe location of course, cause a sistah ain't got time to wind up dead in nobody's crawlspace. Now, I know the 3 of you reading this are thinking, "Just cause y'all been texting for a few weeks don't make him your man!" Whatevs. There's definitely a connection, and nothing beats the euphoria of feeling relevant, feeling like someone other than your mama gives a damn if you live or die. When he's commuting to work, he sends me a good morning text, "Hey, beautiful," or something like that, not to mention all the texts throughout the day. He makes me smile; I make him smile. It's all gravy. A relationship's gotta start somewhere, right? RIGHT?!
So there you have it--not that you asked for it--my one and only "Aw Lawd Jesus, why ain't I got no man?!" post...I hope.
*My dream of being a model will be taken up in another post.
** In many AMBW groups, the administrators let you know from the jump that their group isn't a dating site and shouldn't be used as such, but I suppose this is what happens when you get a bunch of random humans together...
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