The Post That Wasn't Supposed To Be About Frozen Pizza

I work the graveyard shift at the Retail Circus, 10pm-7am. I am off tonight--thank-you, Jesus--but still on that 3rd shift clock internally. (I only sleep normal people hours on vacay or if I am out of work because of illness.) It's about 3:30am in my lil' chunk of the Dirty South. If I were at work, I would be wrapping up my lunch break now, but thank-you Jesus once again, I am off, spending a leisurely late night/early morning watching cartoons, writing, and fixing dinner. Let's give it up for the multitasker.

My pallette isn't the most refined, actually it's obtuse 75% of the time, as evidenced by my love for frozen pizza, and it's what's for dinner tonight/this morning. I was born and raised on frozen pizza and any little pizza themed treat that came down the pike, i.e., pizza rolls. Now, my Mommy is a great cook, but even us lil' chilluns down South were suckers for those convenience foods with their bells and whistles advertising. I remember many days when my cousins and I got off the school bus in the afternoon and ran in my grandma's house to be regaled by a Chef Boyardee pizza, a Fox Deluxe or Totino's Party Pizza, or *clutch my pearls* Jeno's Pizza Rolls! Below are links to commercials for Jeno's Pizza Rolls that caused me to subject Mommy to a litany of "gimme's" and "I want summa dem's".

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nwxPIHisS-M

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jNjc-jL7AF4

I am older now, and maybe my pallette is burned out, but I just don't find those brands appetizing anymore...especially Totino's, UGH!--sorry. I have graduated, if you will, to more high-quality frozen pizzas like Newman's Own, DiGiorno's, and my latest Food Lion discovery:

Yep, German frozen pizza...go figure. There's something kinda middle-man about that to this 'Merican, but it looked so appetizing on the box and before I cooked it, that I had to give It a go.

Welp, the verdict is in: Simply yummy! Pepperoni pizza with real mozerella, cherry tomato slices, AND pesto...wish I'd thought of that. (There are also meatless varietys in this brand, but Shellybird don't play that.) Pizza pepperoni pesto was something I really needed in my life...so is some good hot sex. When I stumble upon summa dat, there will be no pics. Sorry.

That's All?!

So...a Facebook friend that I chat with regularly hurt his back. I was going to inbox him a pic of a sexy maid and tell him that he needed one to wait on him until he could get around better. Off I go to Google Images to find a Black model in a sexy French maid getup. I'm Black, so I figured an accurate representation would be best since I was referring to ME anyways. Welp, I found a whole lotta dis:

ONE a dese:

Anddddd right much a dis:

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not trying to knock my people's  history of servitude in this country. Shoot, my Mommy was a maid in the 60's. As a result, she refuses to watch "The Help." Her words: "Why would I want to see that?! I lived it!" I guess I am just a little surprised/disappointed that I couldn't find a sexy Black maid for my friend during a flirty facetious moment. Hell, the media sexualizes everything ELSE. Why not get the Black maid out of the kitchen and into the boudoir to snap dem sheets? I am grateful, however for the friendly reminder/slap in the face regarding my history, so I won't squander any of the opportunities I am given. Wrecked my flirt game, though.

Watch Your Mouth...

I am a Southern Belle, born and raised in Virginia. I am proud of my heritage, culture and the way I was raised. There are sooo many things I can't STAND: profanity (although I do curse and you have seen and will see some "words" here from time to time) ill-mannered people, men who don't hold open doors for women, emptyness... And what's the deal with this new (to me) trend of taking pics with your middle finger up? Crass...In light of the crap I went through with Daniel though, I will make 2 exceptions:

That is all.

Happy Belated Birthday To Me...

So much has been going on, I didn't even get to celebrate my 41st birthday. It was July 3rd, the day before I had to go out of town for my best friend's wedding. I figured since the wedding locale was near the beach, I could celebrate with Daniel. Hmph...some celebration. I didn't even get treated to a birthday dinner and we ended things the next day.
Now I am 41 years old, with no man. (I'm not even claiming "new 30's" anymore; you can't pour syrup on shit and call it a pancake, you know. It is what it is.) Still ducking and dodging menopause, although the hot flashes do not lie. So...happy (belated) birthday to me. Better luck next year.

Shellybird: Unfit Blogger

If this blog were a baby, you'd have to call CPS on my azz because the baby has been neglected. To those of you who look forward to my posts,  I apologize for letting it fall by the way side. However I am back. This has been a busy summer for me, getting ready for my best friend's wedding in which I was a bridesmaid, trying to formulate a plan to move up North, and trying to keep, but subsequently losing, a man...yep, that d*mn Daniel...

Anyways, like I said, I am back and more committed than ever to keeping this blog up and running. Why? Because it's therapeutic for me and a good way to brush up on my writing, and hopefully someone out there will be entertained,  touched, or even educated by something I write. I follow a blog called "Awesomely Luvvie ". She also has a Facebook page which I "liked" and a Twitter (I don't tweet.) She issued a challenge to all bloggers: Post an entry each day this month. I accepted the challenge, and if you have something new to read here each day, you can thank Luvvie. BTW, here's the link and more details if any of you blog and have been half stepping like me: http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/2013/07/31writenow-blog-challenge.html. I am going to wrap this one up for now. I really do have lots to tell, so I will be talking to y'all soon--no, wait! TOMORROW.